Hungry2Live
Hungry2Live
Hungry2Live Episode #4 - Mary Murray, Communication Director for The Hidden Opponent - Supporting Mental Health Awareness in Student Athletes
On today’s show, Rachel speaks with Mary Murray. After her junior year season was interrupted by COVID-19, Mary found herself depressed and confused about where her life was going. All her dreams of playing softball her senior year were shattered, when her senior season was canceled due to Covid. Mary continued her studies and began looking for a new place to play as a fifth year senior. Although she had the opportunity to play, she realized it was no longer her path. She began her masters at Johns Hopkins, began coaching full-time and had an open door policy for her players as well as other students to talk to her about mental health, anxiety and the pains of growing up. Mary began volunteering for the organization, The Hidden Opponent. Quickly that opportunity turned into a position as the communications director for the organization supporting mental health awareness in student athletes.
@marypatmurray
@thehiddenopponent
No, I don't care, but they say I came here to stay
Speaker 2:Through the days. The must. It wasn't easy. Again. He never gave up cuz I, God God had Through the darkness, through tears during the lights off, never give a
Speaker 1:Hello
Speaker 3:And welcome to another episode of hungry to live. My name is Rachel and I will be your host today. We have an amazing human being. She has a story that while a lot of people have stories about COVID her experience about overcoming obstacles as a college athlete and now helping other athletes is phenomenal. Her her name is Mary Murray. Hi Mary, how are you?
Speaker 4:I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 3:Very well, thank you. So I just wanted to say I myself have been, um, an athlete and I know what it's like to be super competitive. So I wanted to ask you how long, how have you been playing sports?
Speaker 4:Um, I've been playing softball probably since I was four years old. So I'm 24 now, so, okay. 20 years-ish
Speaker 3:That's that's a good run. Um, before COVID did you ever have any mental health or anything that got in the way of playing sports?
Speaker 4:Um, I had mental health issues, but for me sports was an outlet and an escape from them. So it never really got in the way. Um, looking back now, I think there were definitely areas where they connected and ways that sports impacted my mental health and ways that my mental health impacted my perspective on, on sport. But at the time I had no idea. I was just like, this is great. I get to get away from things for two, three hours a day. I get to go play a sport. I love. Um, so I didn't really think of it at the time.
Speaker 3:Isn't it interesting when you go back and think about the connections between your mental health ups and downs and what you did in order to help stimulate that, those mental health issues that they do go hand in hand?
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Uh, when was the first time you actually made that correlation? Do you know?
Speaker 4:Um, honestly I think it was probably, there was an inkling, probably my junior or senior year of college playing. Um, but really, I didn't have a, a large idea until probably 20, 20, 20, 21, um, kind of grappling with the effects of COVID and um, the effect it had on my career. And then that kind of opened the, the floodgates, I guess you could say, into the emotional and the mental health impact that sport had on me and then the impact that my mental health had on my experience in sport.
Speaker 3:So speaking of your experience with mental health in sport, can you please tell the listener exactly what happened? I know 2020 was a huge year for so many people. Um, it started 2019, but it flowed into 2020, and we still have some of the, the ending results and kind of still trying to acclimate to this new normal. How did this new normal back in 2020 change your trajectory for your career path?
Speaker 4:Um, yeah, so 2020 was my senior year of college. Um, I was preparing to play my senior year of collegiate softball and, you know, as a, as a young athlete, all you can dream of, of getting recruited and all you can think about the four years leading up to your senior year is that penultimate senior year experie your senior day and the year before my team had won our conference title for the first time in school history. So our class had a lot to prove. We wanted to experience that again and leave our program better than we found it and leave as one of the most successful classes in our program and at our university. So it was definitely, um, pressure and we were, we were embracing the pressure and we just wanted to really enjoy the year. Um, I was at a point where I finally could let go of the accolades and could let go of the need to be perfect and just embrace the relationships I had and the fun playing the game. Um, I think an important aspect to mention is my four year I had, um, what could have been a career ending hip surgery. So I played through my entire sophomore season with an injury. And then about a week after season, I had surgery and I had people telling me that it would've taken me 12 months to recover and be a hundred percent. I had people telling me I'd never be a hundred percent again. Um, so I kind of just went into that junior or when we won and said, you know, what, who cares? Like this is a new opportunity. I have no expectations. And there, I shouldn't put this pressure on myself to perform when I have no idea how I'm gonna perform with this new, new body, really new hip. Um, and I had a pretty good year, so I was excited to carry that in the senior year. Um, we opened the season in North Carolina at the end of February and nothing was really awry. There was no sense that anything was different. Um, we didn't have a great trip, but it wasn't bad. We went to and two, um, we came home and then we played a couple games and March 12th, we had a double header slated to, to host at home. Um, we were called into a, our locker room and we were told that our Florida trip, our spring training trip was canceled because of COVID. Um, we we'd gotten an email probably two days before saying classes were moving online for two weeks. And it was that period where everything we thought was gonna be two weeks little did we know? Um, but we sat in the locker room and we all just kind of rallied. And after the seniors realized we're not gonna get our last training trip, we're not gonna get our last senior hibachi dinner. That was our, um, our kind of program norm it, we do for the seniors down there. Um, we were like, you know what? We have a game to play tonight. And if this means that we'll be good to play conference and we'll be good to protect our championship and defend it and go back to back then, fine, this is what we have to do. So we kind of came to terms with it a little bit. And then, um, we hosted that night, which we didn't know it at the time, but we were one of the last games to be played in terms of softball, um, before COVID shut everything down. So we ended up playing a double header. We got swept. Um, it was a program standard for us not to get swept on our home field, but now I look back and it didn't really matter at the time. Um, game one, we knew nothing. I was at third base and we just thought it was, you know, know our last game for two weeks. And then in between games, our athletic director came up, talked to our coach, and then I saw a couple other of my classmates crying and then the starting lineup came out and it was all seniors. And that's when we knew it was, it was the last game we were gonna be playing. Um, I had to pitch that game, which was not a great experience emotionally or mentally. Um, thankfully I had one of my best friends right next to me playing. So we kind of embraced it together and cried together and just had those moments. And then afterwards, our coach couldn't even speak. So we were kind of just sent home after that. And there was so much, um, uncertainty around a was next. And then the NCAA came out and said, you have a fifth year of eligibility. And I had already planned to go to get my masters. So I said, you know what, let's, let's change past here. I have a fifth year. Let's use it. Like I was just hitting my prime. This would be great. Um, I wanna keep playing. And so after finishing my senior thesis and kind of 180 in that trajectory degree of what I wanted to do and my plans, um, I decided to attend a school in New Jersey and play softball for my fifth year and pursue athletic communications and pursue a masters in communications. Um, I'd say probably I did a lot of soul searching and a lot of tough questions were asked of myself. And I leaned on a lot of mentors and a lot of friends who knew me very well. And I finally came to the realization that it wasn't what I was making it out to be. And while I wanted to play my fifth year, it wouldn't be the same as playing for the program that I helped elevate. And it's not where I wanted to end my career and it's not how I wanted to end my career. And at the end of the day, I struggle with separating myself as an athlete for myself as a human and I needed to make that separation and make the decision to not take my fifth year. So in about August of 2020, I withdrew from that university and kind of pushed myself outta my comfort zone. Um, I attended Johns Hopkins for my masters, which I had never thought I would have ever done. Um, I just graduated from Hopkins in December with my masters in communications, and it was a very much pushing myself outta my comfort zone, challenging myself academically. Cause again, I was a, I didn't think of myself as a student athlete. I thought of myself as an athlete student. So I completely underestimated all of my academic successes that I had. Um, and I thought I was gonna be an S I D or an athletic communications, um, person at college. And I'm currently a full-time softball coach at a college, so slightly the same, but very different role in the environment I'm in. But I couldn't ask for a better, um, a better environment to be around and a better group of kids to be around and just to get to, you know, have that impact on them every day is something that I cherish and I love because I'm able to give back and share my experiences. And especially with these kids, all being impacted by COVID, I can relate to what they're going through. So I, I really love being able to do that and have those conversations with them.
Speaker 3:That's your story. I just, I'm amazed by how you bounce back from so many things that could have set you back because you were taken off the course you had projected for yourself. And it's so interesting to see how you pivoted in all of those moments. And it's also interesting because I don't know how aware you are of my story, but I have my story of recovery as well, but a recovery in recovery for an eating disorder and exercise bulimia, which also goes hand in hand with sports and mental health because I played sports my entire life. And then I realized just like you, in another way, I was using sports as my outlet, but I was really using it as like the precursor to my exercise. BU and you also talked about having this potentially career ending injury and your body bounced back from it, which is similar to how in my recovery, my body bounced back and bodies are such, I don't even know how to explain how bodies are this more than a vessel, the things that bodies can do. And so for the listener, I just want you to take a moment and thank your body because it's so important to know what you have. And this is living proof from Mary's story. She had something that could have completely ended her career as an athlete, and now she's coaching other athletes. And on top of that, I also know that you are doing, um, some advocacy too, for mental health in sports, correct?
Speaker 4:Yes. Yeah. With the hidden opponent.
Speaker 3:So yeah, the hidden opponent, which we'll talk about in a little bit, but before we forget let's first, can we give socials to the listener? What are, what are some of your socials?
Speaker 4:Yeah, so, um, mine personally or hidden opponents,
Speaker 3:Both.
Speaker 4:Okay. So mine, personally, everything is I think at Mary pat Murray. So M a R Y P a T M U R R a Y. And then the hidden opponents. Twitter is at hidden underscore opponent. Instagram is at the hidden opponent and then Facebook, you can just look us up as the hidden opponent. Our website is the hidden opponent.com.
Speaker 3:Thank so much. And the shows, Instagram is hungry dot the number two.live. And you can also find us online at Hungary. The number two live.com. I also really quickly wanted to touch base with you on this whole idea of student athlete versus, or athlete student versus student athlete. And I think it's really great how you reframes that thinking because you had put so much of your attention on the sport and your athletics and in a way you took that part of self and how connected you are to your, um, your actual academics instead of athletics. And you now realize that there's this whole other part of you that now you have, you're playing this balancing act because now you with your masters and having gone through all of that, and also going through that during COVID like, congratulations. I also got my master's during COVID so crazy. It's just, it's, it's a story to tell, like, to just do everything normal during COVID and then on top of that, while dealing with mental health and getting a master's like, congratulations, I just wanted to say thank
Speaker 4:You. Yeah, it was definitely a crazy time. I never thought I would, you know, get a degree fully online. I hated zoom school. I will never do zoom school again. It was not conducive, not a conducive learning environment for me, but like my, my college coach said all the time FIO, that was her, her favorite term, figure it out, figure it out, figure it out. So if there's something I took away from my collegiate experience as an athlete, it was just how to figure it out.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So having had to do all of your masters online and experiencing that this, I wasn't expecting the conversation to go here, but I think it's important, especially because a listener may be in a similar situation where they were expecting to do something collegially or just, um, being a normal student and it's moved online for them. What is some advice you could give them?
Speaker 4:Um, I'm hu I'm huge on time management. So, um, my coach actually had a huge time management sheet that we used and it blocked out every hour of every day. Um, there were days I needed it. There were days I didn't, um, I'm very big on to-do lists and, um, agendas and everything like that. So those were pretty big for me. Um, then really I'm just the pretty organized person. So I'm not like there, wasn't a huge story of me getting my life together during COVID and becoming super organized. Um, I was the person who had like a binder for every class and had, you know, um, dividers for everything. And like, so it wasn't hard for me to get organized, but the self-discipline part of it was a difficult thing for me. Um, I'll admit, I didn't do as much of the reading as I probably should have, but when, you know, your master's is asking you to read for like spend 15 hours a week on each class and you're taking three classes, sometimes you just gotta, you know, figure it out. Um, I, I started very, very disciplined. Um, but I also, the wasn't, I was a full-time student in the fall and the spring. Um, but I started funny how life works out. I was reached out to, um, by a university near me, um, which is actually where I work now, um, to join the staff as a volunteer assistant last year. And they had tried to get me to play my, my fifth year there. And I had said, oh, I don't really wanna stay this close to home. Don't wanna commute. Like if I go somewhere, I wanna go somewhere. Um, so then after I made the decision to stay home and pursue my masters, they said, okay, well, if you're not gonna play you're, you're gonna coach. So I came on staff and that was a nice kind of getaway for me. But then once season hit in the spring, it was definitely difficult to balance travel trips and away games and not having your whole weekend essentially, and then practices and stuff, um, with master's work. But really it was, it was a lot of time management and a lot of kind of saying, okay, if I'm getting on a bus for a game, and I know that I need to do this reading, I'm taking the, this book with me, or I'm downloading this off the internet so that I make sure I have it so I can read it. And really using time wisely. I did that in undergrad too. I was, I was one of the only kids on the bus doing homework. And people looked at me like I was nuts, but I got it done. So whatever you need to do to, to get things done. And I think something that I realized in my master's is I, I struggled with this in undergrad. I always thought everything had to be perfect. I didn't wanna turn something in unless it was perfect. And I finally realized, you know, what, I'm causing myself so much undue stress. And I'm looking at this paper 10 times when I need to look at it twice and maybe I'll send it to a friend, but like, you know, you do good work. You've shown throughout the last six years of your life in college and throughout high school. So why stress over something that, you know, you're doing well, if there's an issue, then you stress over it and you I'm, I've always been a proactive communicator as well. So it was very important for me to reach out to professors in my masters because I, I did it all the time in undergrad, you know, as an athlete, you have to say, hi, my name's so, and so I'm gonna miss half your classes this semester. So like work with me here and I'll work with you. But, um, I was just NA it was natural for me to have those relationships with my professors. So I reached out to them a lot. Some of'em I texted, I called asked questions to, they were really good and really willing to work with me. I was also one of the youngest in my cohort for that, um, degree. So it was kind of weird for me, everybody else was working and I was going full time. Um, there were some other full-time students, but I was one of the only ones. And, you know, it was, it was definitely a challenge, but there were days where I didn't turn in my best work. And at the beginning I was not okay with that. But towards the end, I was like, you know what? This is still good. It's not perfect, but it's good. And if this is the best I can do right now, then so be it it's the best I can do right now.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Bees get degrees, CS, get degrees, everybody. Remember that,
Speaker 4:That was so hard for me to realize. And
Speaker 3:You know what, I I'm the same way. And I mean, I graduated with honors in undergrad and I graduated with a 4.0 in my master's program. And it, it all goes back to the, at perfectionist competitive mentality and which feeds into the mental health. It's like, everything goes together. Yep. Um, so what I was hearing a lot from you is the balance and communication piece, and you got your masters in communication, which also helps you with the organization. So I know you you're a full-time coach, but on top of being a full-time coach, can you talk a little bit about the hidden opponent?
Speaker 4:Yeah. So I, first of all, I'm the communications director with the hidden opponent Touche. Um, so ive been working with them actually since may of 2020. So I said to myself, uh, Victoria founded th O in, I believe, October of 2019. And once COVID hit, they hit the ground running. And I, I saw th O on, I forget where it might have been Instagram or YouTube or something. And I was like, wow, this is neat. Like mental health and athletics. Like I've gone through this past tense, didn't realize at the time that I was still going through it. So I was like, wow, like I've had this experience. It would be neat to, you know, get involved. And then May, 2020 comes around and I reached out about a possible internship and they took me on as an intern. Um, then I began my masters and they kind of made a standard that you were not an undergrad. You either you moved up. So I was brought onto leadership team in December of 2020 as the communications director. And I've been in that role ever since it's expanded and it's ebbed and flowed as, as we've grown, but I pretty much manage, um, all emails, all, um, I'll oversee partnership, inquiries, I'll oversee campus, captains inquiries. I'll oversee any question that you have about th O if you wanna get involved. Um, yeah, so I, I help make some of the programming for our, our college student athletes who get involved. Um, we're actually doing national eating disorders awareness week programming next week. So we're pretty pumped about that. And we're excited to, to share that with our community.
Speaker 3:That's amazing. I would love to hear more about that. Um, how do you help your, the, the student athletes that you currently work with, both those that you coach and those that you're mentoring through? Um, the hidden opponent.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It's a little different in each. Um, I, obviously I can be more hands on as a coach because I see these kids six days a week. Um, and I make it a point to have an open door policy and I try and have, you know, snacks if they wanna stop by between classes, Andre, whatever. But even if they wanna come, come in and talk about, like, if they're having roommate issues or they're having class issues, or they need help with whatever, like, I'm pretty sure I had one player text me the other night saying, oh, I wanna write like a, um, an assignment about SAC. And I'm a SAC advisor as well, which is also another great touchpoint for me, um, being around a, all the student athletes. And she said, but I can, I like interview you. And I was like, um, yes, sure. Of course. Um, so I usually, and I try to make it a point to like, be invested in their lives outside of softball. So we have a player who landed a really, really, really awesome internship that she is absolutely going to love next fall, and I'm over the moon for her. So I've been talking to her about that a lot. Um, and that, to me, that just strengthens relationships and builds, respect so much more. So, um, like this Saturday I'm taking, so I'm a pitching coach and I'm taking my pictures and catchers. Um, we're gonna do a breakfast, all just all, you know, eight or nine of us, um, and just spend time together, which it's different outside of practice. So I can have, you know, those more, like I said, hands on moments and get to know them on a more personal level. Um, and you see them through their highs and through their lows. So I see them struggling with a pitch or struggling to make an adjustment at the plate. And I see them struggl going in classes and struggling to adjust to life and season, but I also see them master that pitch and make that adjustment at the plate and have that aha moment in the classroom and figure it out so that they're successful. And if I can give them one piece of advice that helps them in that, or if I can just be a sounding board for them to blow ideas off of, then that's why as long as, as long as they get to where they need to be, then I'm happy. Um, in terms of th O it's more remote. So I I'm a contact for, I help run the campus captains program. So brief overview of that is, um, we founded it in 2020, so it's a second year. Um, it's basically an entire cohort of ambassadors for the hidden opponent on their campuses. So we have probably, I think over 400 plus student athletes on their college campuses advocating for mental health in athletics on behalf of us. So they're very active in their athletic departments. Um, they host mental health awareness games. They do tabling events, they share, um, our resources. They share our events on their campus. They'll have speakers come in. Um, they'll collaborate with us even sometimes too, as an organization, as a whole. So we at some schools do five Ks and donate the money back to us. So, um, I kind of help more in a logistical sense in that. And then, um, I'll talk to a lot of the head campus captains. So we have leadership head campus, captains, campus captains, and, um, there's probably, I wanna say maybe 12 to 15 head campus captains. And there are our touch point between so on our ladder of hierarchy. And I talk to them quite a bit, um, about what do you think could be better? Um, what do people wanna see in our programming? What would be something that they think would be beneficial? So we do yoga every month as kind of a destressor. Um, like I mentioned earlier, we're doing Neta week programming next week. Um, last month we did like a self-care journaling quick little thing. Um, we're looking into some stuff with how to, how to navigate injuries in your mental health, if you're sidelined. And we have some really cool partners for that, um, there's just a bunch of awesome topics that we get to cover, and we get some really the really cool people to help us talk about it. Um, but yeah, it's, it's awesome to communicate with so many student athletes from so many different parts of the country and outside of the country, um, and hear their experiences. And one of our favorite things we're doing one next week is sharing our stories nights. So we get to hear from two or three student athletes and they share their story, um, and their mental health struggles and how they've overcome it, or how they're getting through it, or just saying, Hey, I'm here and I'm fighting this every day and I'm fighting it. And I'm here alongside you as you fight whatever you're fighting. So those have been really empowering nights. And just to, to be able to help orchestrate that and allow them to share their voices is something that I really love as being PO in the position.
Speaker 3:Sounds like you're not just a softball coach. You're a life coach.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure. For
Speaker 3:Sure. You should be that behind your name,
Speaker 4:Mary Murray, their duties as a sign.
Speaker 3:Um, so all of that aside, helping everyone with their mental health, what are you doing for yourself for your mental health?
Speaker 4:So I may be a bit of a hypocrite and I think this is something that a lot of people need to hear, but don't think about, um, I like to liken it to, you need to fill your own cup before you fill others. I am a huge person. Who's guilty of not filling my own cup before I fill others. Um, so I will give, give, give, give, give until I burn out, and then I'll have to take a lot of time to recharge so that I can give, give, give again. And it's a cycle that some days I break some days, um, I'm just always, you know, I think it comes from being an athlete. I'm very goal oriented. I'm very detail oriented. So I want things done, right. I wanna get'em done right away. I don't like having things sit on my to do list. Um, so I think the biggest thing for me is finding time, like small pockets within my day to kind of spend time with myself. So whether it's like my dog right behind me chilling with me or something, or if it's, um, if I'm stressed at work, going for a walk around campus, or if it's getting up early and spending time in the gym, not to, you know, reach a certain goal, but to just celebrate the fact that, Hey, Hey, I learned how to lift like this in college. Like, this is awesome. My body can do this even after a surgery and after all of the wear and tear that it's had throughout, you know, 20 years of sport, it's awesome to see that, wow, I can, I've never done a clean before and now I can clean or, wow, this is a weight that I've, I've never hit. And even just on days where my body maybe says, okay, today's not the day that we bump up weight, today's arrest day, still just taking care of it because it's a big part of my job first off. And I know if I physically don't feel great, then I mentally, emotionally won't feel great. Um, so the gym has been a huge thing for me. And then aside from that, like journaling, um, I have a couple friends who I'm very close with and I love to have conversations with them, just not asking life questions, but just working through emotions and stuff. Um, I see a sports psychologist right now on the, and we talk a lot about the transition of life into sport because really I'm ING, but I'm still in that same atmosphere. So there is kind of a sense of disconnect and I'm still attached to it a bit. So I need to be pretty careful about, um, how much I invest in that and not treating it the same as I did as a student athlete. But yet there is a level of commitment that is needed for that position. And, but I also need to take care of myself. So there's been a lot of times where, you know, I've had people around me saying, you like, you are allowed to take that day off. And I say, no, no, no, I need to go out. I need to recruit. And then they say, no, you, you don't need to, you've worked the past four weekends. You haven't had a day off in a month. You're not coming in tomorrow. And I'm like, what, what, what do you mean? I'm not? And they say, no, no, no, you're, you're staying home and you're relaxing and you're doing nothing. And I need people in my life to tell me to slow down, cuz I don't do it myself. Um, and I need, and personally, and I know I'm not the only person with this kind of need, but I need to be able to pay attention to my kind of cues when I hit that, that burnout point and be able to say, oh, I need to take a step back. I'm not gonna let it hit empty. You. Maybe if I'm three quarters of a tank, I'm gonna start refilling so that I can still function and refill at the same time. And then once I get to full, then I can give again to my full capacity. And a big thing for me has been learning one to say no, or learning one to say pause. So I've always loved, like when people would ask me to do things, I just say, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll help. Yep. Yeah. Tell me what to do where now I say, well, okay, I need to finish this first. I committed to this. Just let me get back to you. Or, um, I'm too busy right now. I'm overwhelmed, but I'd love to help you with this or this just isn't in my wheelhouse right now. And a big thing for me lately for self-care has been, um, learning what lights me up and what brings me joy and saying yes to that and learning what doesn't bring me joy and saying no to that. Because as an athlete, we didn't really have that choice. Um, there were a lot of things that probably didn't bring you joy, like those lovely six AMS and you know, conditioning practices and stuff like that. But you know, you had to do it for the grind, but now you don't have to go through the grind anymore. It's your decision. So that's something that took me well is taking me over two years to, to grapple with is I can say no. And it's okay if I say no. And if it makes me happier to say no, then I should do that. And there have been decisions that have taken me years to be able to conjure up the courage to say, I don't wanna do this anymore. And when I did, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. So I think that's a big thing for, for people to take away is find your joy in life after sport, because you're pigeonholed for so long and you're in this box for so long. And you're, you're told what to do for so long and you know, there's so much structure and then you graduate or your career ends and there's no structure anymore. You create it and it's scary, but it's also beautiful and it gives you freedom, but it gives you there's two sides of it. You can view it as, oh my gosh, this is, it's never been this way. I don't want it to be this way. This is change. Um, I'm scared. I'm afraid, or it can be, this is a new opportunity and I wanna attack it. And if softball isn't in the cards for me right now, then do I like pick up basketball down the street? Or do I wanna get into my church soccer league? Or do I even wanna do sports anymore? Do I wanna look into a, a different hobby or do I wanna paint? Do I wanna travel? Like for me, traveling has been huge. Um, that's been something that really, really lights me up and now that COVID is getting better. I'm hoping to travel this summer, which has been like, that's huge for my mental health. Absolutely huge.
Speaker 3:So you also have not said other things that are you're good at, and I have to say you are very well spoken and very articulate. And I was just sitting here listening to you and I love that you found your strength as an academic later on, but just know it's there because you, you speak so fluently and it's just beautiful to listen to. And you so much to say so never stop saying it because you have so much to say. I also wanted to say on top of all that you kind about what lights you up, but as the show's called hungry to live, what keeps you hungry to live?
Speaker 4:Dang, that's a question. Um, I'd say there's a lot of, I think a lot of it for me comes back to, and I never realized this until, you know, COVID was a good thing and a bad thing. Um, I can look back now and say I had an immense amount of personal growth and that best friend who I was on the field with for my last game. And we were crying together is the same best friend who I will call up and have three hour conversations. And every single conversation that we start we say to each other, do you want advice or do you want vent? Do you want me to speak or do you want me to listen? And that in a friendship for me has been huge. Um, but that giving that back has been something that's been big for me. So whether it's in coaching and just being there for my players or whether it's guiding them through things they haven't been through before and just not holding their hand, but letting them go. And if they fail being there to help them back up and go again. Um, and I think there's a certain, a certain strength to that. My collegiate coach did that a lot. Um, at the time I was like, you're never here. Like you're not helping me, but really she was helping me become me and not become reliant on her or reliant on other support systems. So that's a huge thing for me is just kind of not tough love, I would say, but instilling that independence and that growth mindsets set in people around me, um, and really just helping them see that if you don't take that step, you'll never know because I, I took so many steps that I would've never known. I studied abroad twice in college and I, would've never known that, that would've been something that would light up traveling for me. And here I am, I try to travel at least once a year if I can. But, um, that's something else that, that I'm hungry for. Definitely traveling a lot more and experiencing different cultures. And, um, that's communication wise. I fell in love with because it's so unique to see how different people communicate and, um, just the way that different cultures interact and how they, what they value. So when I went over to Australia, quiet time and more relaxed, um, a more relaxed atmosphere was definitely way more important there than it was here, here. It was about the hustle and bustle on the grind. So instilling a little bit of that in my life here has been big. And then when I went to London, there were a bunch of different things that I kind of picked up that I took in back here. Um, so been something I've been hungry for going back, but I think ultimately it's, um, it's taking my life experiences and the mistakes that I've made and the failures that I've had and the successes that I've had, but many more failures and successes. Um, and the resilience that I've been able to cling onto in the face of adversity, whether it resulted in success or not, there was still a journey there and there was, there was still lessons there. Um, and if there's any way that I can spread that and share that with student athletes, young people, whoever is in my circle and in my community. And if that helps them in any way, that's, that's what I'm hungry for using my story and my experiences and my, the knowledge that I've gained. And while I don't know everything, whatever I do know if that can help anybody. I want to be able to offer that to them.
Speaker 3:Great. So setting boundaries, helping people and, um, having this hunger to learn. And with that, let's one more time. Have the listener, hear your socials one more time.
Speaker 4:Um, my Instagram, Twitter, and yeah, I think that's, it is at Mary pat Murray. So M a R Y P a T M U R R a Y.
Speaker 3:Great. Thank you. And again, for the show, the Instagram is hungry dot the number two live, and you can also find the website hungry, the number two live.com. Thank you again, Mary. This was a wonderful conversation.
Speaker 4:Of course. Thanks for having me
Speaker 5:In the right place, in the wrong, down on my luck there with dog days, how to switch it up, make it okay. So I gave up on the rare race, learned from a pastor man days still got town never too late.
Speaker 1:No,
Speaker 5:I don't care.
Speaker 1:But they say
Speaker 5:I
Speaker 1:Came here to stay
Speaker 2:Through the days. The, it wasn't L again, he never gave up cuz I, God God have Through the darkness through tears, turn the lights off face. My fears never give up.
